We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
