Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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