Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Of course I have a pirate flag
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
