Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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