I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
