playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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