Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
