Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
