I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
