i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
