I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
