Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
