Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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