I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
