Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
