ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize