Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
