I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Bring me that man meat
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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