I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
