Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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