Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
