im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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