are you still at the devil's house?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
