i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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