Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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