if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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