He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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