What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
