the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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