Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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