thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
