He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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