I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
