i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
