No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
