i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
