Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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