i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
