dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and she was petting her beer can
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
