He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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