Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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