dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
