So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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