He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
