All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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