How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
worst night to have a conscience
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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