I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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