Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
