with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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