PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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